You didn’t lose yourself. You forgot to look
First Name, Not Mom is a memoir and a mirror. It is for the woman who has given everything to everyone around her and quietly wondered what is left for her
“It definitely opened up a creative introspection and meditation for me.” — EJ, verified reader
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About the Book
Somewhere along the way, you became Mom. Wife. Daughter. Colleague. You became every role except the one you started with: yourself.
First Name, Not Mom is the story of what happens when you stop performing those roles long enough to ask who you actually are. It is honest, personal, and quietly disruptive. Qiala writes the way most of us think in our most honest moments — real enough to recognize yourself on every page, practical enough to actually do something about it.
What You’ll Find Inside
This book was not written to give you another thing to do. It was written to help you remember who you are between all the things you do.
Each chapter is short, designed to be read slowly, in between the real moments of your life. And within those pages, you’ll find:
Book Chapters
When Did I Become Just “Mom”?
The quiet moment of recognition that you have gone numb, and the slow truth that you disappeared long before you noticed.
The Weight of the Invisible Load
Everything you carry that no one sees. The mental tabs, the regulating, the pretending, the cost of always being the strong one.
Permission to Want More
Why the desire for more is not selfishness, and how the guilt that calls it that has been keeping you small.
The 30-Minute Revolution
Reclamation does not start with a retreat or a reinvention. It starts with thirty quiet minutes that belong only to you.
Getting Dressed Like You Matter
The pajama prison is real. Choosing to dress yourself with intention is one of the first ways you tell yourself you exist.
Creativity Doesn’t Need Permission
The pull to make something is part of who you are. Reawakening it is part of finding your way back to yourself.
Chapters 7 through 12 take you through the guilt, the fear of being seen again, reclaiming your body, the partnership beyond Mom and Dad, faith and surrender, and the woman who is still becoming. The full journey is in the book.
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Available now in paperback, Kindle, and signed copies straight from me.
Signed copies ship from Georgia within 5 to 7 days.
Qiala patrice
About the Author
I write for the mother who forgot her own name. The one who gives everything, shows up for everyone, and somewhere along the way disappeared inside the roles she loves. My work is about the gentle journey back to yourself, in the small, quiet ways that actually fit a real life.
Qiala Patrice is the author of First Name, Not Mom: The Rebirth Guide Back to You, and the founder of Still Becoming Media. A New York City native now living in Georgia, she is a working mother, wife of more than a decade, and mom to a teenage son. Her writing comes from her own season of losing herself inside motherhood and the slow, honest work of coming back. She believes you do not have to choose between being a good mother and being yourself, and that rebirth can be gentle.
When she is not writing, you will find her in a Pilates class, doing hair for someone she loves, or planning the next chapter of Still Becoming. First Name, Not Mom is her first book. It will not be her last.
It opened up a creative introspection and meditation for me.
“This book is for all the mothers, new, experienced, and becoming. It encourages you to channel your inner self as the woman you thought you once were and wanted to be. Qiala’s voice felt like a friend speaking quiet truth, and it definitely opened up a creative introspection and meditation for me.”
This is exactly what I needed.
“It helped me start looking at my own life and realize I needed to make changes. The stories felt so real, and the steps were doable, not like something that seems too hard to actually do. It felt like Qiala was writing about my life.”
Free Download
Want a Sneak Peek?
Read Chapter 1 of First Name, Not Mom for free. Meet the woman in the mirror who forgot her own name, and take the first quiet step toward remembering her. Delivered straight to your inbox.
No spam, ever. Just the chapter, and the occasional letter when I have something worth saying.
Order Your Book Today
If the words in the free chapter met you where you are, the full book offers even more space to breathe, reflect, and feel less alone in what you’re carrying.
Choose the format that fits your rhythm and keep going, one quiet page at a time.
